One of these days there will be a baby in my arms.
She will be tiny and new.
With awe we will marvel at her little self and wonder who she will grow up to be.
One of these days a beautiful new soul will enter this world.
All hopes and dreams yet to be bent or broken.
No sign of angst, just pure innocence.
These thoughts have been on my heart this morning. I am sitting in bed working because the pain in my pelvis becomes unbearable when sitting on my wooden office chair. My body has made all the necessary adaptations to prepare for childbirth and now I wait. Apparently as of this week my little human is fully formed and would be be able to enter the world and survive well. Yet we are happy to wait the full term as she stays safe inside, warm and nurtured with all she needs.
It’s terrifying, it’s exhilarating and it’s altogether amazing that the God of the universe, the creator of heaven and earth, has designed, developed, and birthed this beautiful little person… and she is ours! Paul and I have been entrusted with her life. I had a moment of self doubt a few weeks ago as I rummaged through my linen cupboard unable to find the fitted sheets (nesting was happening in full force). Yet as I sat down and took a breathe I was reminded of a profound truth, as God whispered to me… “You are a steward of my love. So be just that. Be a steward of my love to your daughter.”
It was as though all the expectation I had placed on my shoulders was immediately lifted. I have no freaking clue what to expect, how our baby will sleep, if she will cry a lot or not, if I’ll have enough linen or baby-grows, but what I do know is that I get to love her. My highest calling is to steward God’s love and if I make that my priority for this new soul, well I believe in what the scriptures say next, “Seek first the Kingdom of God, and all else will be given to you.”
It is so normal to worry. As women we worry about many things and as a new mom I am sure worry will creep in over and over and over. BUT it is truth, as I’ve shared above, that I am certain will be my guide in every day, in every moment, through her tears and mine, through her giggles and my adoration.
I love the words of the song It is well, “Through it all, through it all, my eyes are on you.. and it is well with me.” Where are your eyes? Where is your focus? On worry… or on Christ?
So what is your truth. What do you need to hold on to as you truly enjoy this new and exciting season of life, or the challenges that you face, or the mundane every day. What is God saying to you? Listen for his encouragement, seek it out in His word, or maybe like me you simply needed to hear that you are His steward, above all else. So stop placing unnecessary expectations on yourself and do just as He asks, be a steward of His love.